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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mama is a four letter word.

    In the last few centuries, the face of motherhood has changed dramatically. What was once a respectable life path is now seen as a social stigma. In the past, a mom could stay home and raise her children, instilling the values with which she believed. She could nurture and love her children to her own preferences. When her baby cried, she could comfort him. When her kids were hungry, she could feed them the foods she chose for them. When her children came home from school, she could make them a snack, and help them with homework. A mother could tell her peers of her life choice proudly, because she had the most important job there was.

   Now "mom" seems to be a dirty word.  Sure, you can still be a mother in this day and age, but the word has lost the dignity it once held. Now children tend to be an accessory to the rest of a woman's life. A woman's career is to take priority. She is expected to work right along side her male counter part, and she expects to be seen as an equal. As dirty of a word "mom" has become, it pales in comparison to the vulgarity that is added when you put the words "stay at home" in front of it. The stay at home mom is looked at as a pariah in our new, equal society. The hard working June Cleaver has been replaced with an image of the bon bon eating Peggy Bundy.
  
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against working mothers. My own mother worked 12 hours a day, and sometimes nights as well. It was the only way she could give us the life she felt we deserved. The fact is that I have more respect for her than any other person on the face of the Earth.

My problem is with the stigma attached to being "just a mom" as many put it. I myself am a stay at home mom. Those around me have tried to tell me that I need to, "do something with my life".  That alone should give you a little insight into how the stay at home mom is seen in our society. On the upside, there have been more mothers choosing to stay at home with their kids recently. I only hope that the negative view of this choice will start to disappear.Our future as a society depends upon supporting each other.

    

8 comments:

JanetDavies said...

I'm so happy you wrote this post!! I was a stay at home Mom with three kids and I feel so fortunate that I was able to do that. The thing that was most difficult for me was always having that feeling of being small when really the job is so big! I'd like to think that women who make the choice to stay home will regain the respect they deserve. Thanks for such a great post!

Bellamama said...

Beautiful! Well said. *applause*

MaritimeArts said...

Great post and unfortunately so true. I have done both and I can tell you that since deciding to stay at home people really judge you in a negative way, or at least not positive. Like you are not contributing if you don't have a job with a paycheck. But I can tell you that it's the most important job I have done and I am glad for it. Hang in there.

Peebs And Roo said...

I was a working mom up until the summer started. Now I proudly (and I mean PROUDLY) get to stay home and watch my babies grow up. I always felt that being a mother is the most important role a woman can have in any lifetime! I consider myself blessed for this opportunity! Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

http://peebsandroo.blogspot.com/

Unknown said...

There are a whole load of stigmas attatched to being a parent now, everyone has an opinion on how to do it and whether or not you're good at it (as with everything else in life now).
I'm not a parent so the only opinion I have is this one :-)

EmmysBoosAndRawrs said...

I really like this post! In fact, yesterday in my class we had to answer questions about ourself in front of the class. One was "What do you want to do with your life? What is your life goal?" and I was the last to go (as im shy and hateeee talking in front of others) and EVERY kid who went before me listed a job. "I want get this kind of a job" or "I want to get this job and live here" and maybe it's becasue yes, we are in college to get a better education and hopefully a better job. but i was still surprised to be the only one that stood up and said "I want to be a mommy. I think my main life goal is to raise happy babies...and be happily married to their father...forever"

I don't by any means think that all girls should desire to be stay at home moms. But it's weird to em that when most 18-20 year old kids get asked waht their life goals are - they don't mention children OR marriage.

Unknown said...

I work from home so I have the best of both worlds , well it suits us anyway . Take CAre .

Raggy Rat said...

hugs from another lucky-to-be-able to stay at home mum
thanks for admiring my owl ....

cat xxx